New Life

I’m learning more and more, after years of ministry to broken and hurting people, that “facts” alone can’t heal or replace past destructive experiences.

Many people are in bondage to destructive beliefs – about themselves, the Lord, others or life in general – due to past experiences. Mere cognitive knowledge in the form of rational logic, facts and principles (even when true and Biblically based) are not enough to bring healing or wholeness when someone’s reality is defined by lies that they’ve come to subjectively believe due to past experiences. Only a new experience – in the person of Jesus as the Living Word – can break the power of experientially-based lies and bring freedom.

Take a twenty-two year old man (let’s call him Robert) who’s whole life and thus his whole belief system – including his sense of self, worth, validation and ways of relating to others – has been the “street” and hustlin’. Drugs have been Robert’s answer to despair and pain, and manipulation has become his means of survival.

Even when Robert sincerely turns his life over the Jesus, you can teach him all the cognitive facts, logical truth, sound doctrine and wise principles you want, but at his core he’s still “street”. Until he experiences a different reality, the experiential reality of the street – how he thinks, how he perceives, how he reacts – will continue to dominate his life.

How do most churches deal with people like Robert? They have him recite some “sinner’s prayer” and then immerse him in cognitive knowledge – like Biblical truth, sound doctrine and wise principles. He will logically, rationally and fully agree with those facts, and the church will take pride in doing a good job of “discipling” him in the Lord. They may even feature him in their monthly newsletter!

But Robert will have struggles, because at the core he’s still thinking, perceiving and reacting out of his experientially-based internal reality – which is still rooted in the “street”. External facts, like Bible knowledge and sound doctrine, just are not enough to change the reality of those experiences.

If knowledge alone could fix Robert, he’d have fixed himself long ago. But God never expected that of us. Yet we expect it of Robert, and we put the crushing weight of all our “oughts” and truths on him. We tell him that if he only has enough will power to believe or obey or whatever, then he will “make it” in the Lord.

When Robert stumbles or doesn’t change fast enough from his “street” reality to our good-Christian standards, he again will be told to be strong and that it’s up to him – he must find the will to obey God’s principles and hold fast to the “Word of God”.

But such performance- and fact-based admonitions are a cop-out by the church, because no one is willing to deal with – or knows how to deal with – the street-based mess that’s still at the core of Robert’s life.

There’s a war going on inside Robert between the fact-based truth, doctrines and principles he’s been taught by other Christians – which he logically accepts – and his experientially-based beliefs and ways of perceiving that are still present from the “street”.

So Robert – a man who sincerely wanted the Lord but instead was given doctrine, verses, sermons and principles – becomes exhausted from his internal battle returns to the street and drugs and hustlin’ and manipulating. On the street, he may never have been fully alive, but at least he experientially knew how to survive. And everyone at the church shakes their heads with piety and pity, because poor Robert just didn’t want to “follow Jesus” enough to change.

Long term, trying to fix folks with “facts” through cognitive teaching, Bible study, understanding right doctrine, sermons, etc., just doesn’t work. Yet that’s what most churches keep doing. It’s cheap, it’s impersonal, and it’s nice, neat and tidy. Throw in a zippy worship band during the Sunday service, and it may even be fun for awhile. But it just doesn’t work.

I have seen, time and again, how real freedom only comes when people experience the actual life of Jesus in those areas formally occupied by lies – not as some presumption that “Jesus is now in you” after praying some silly “sinner’s prayer,” but as a powerful reality rooted in authentic, deep and transparent confession, forgiveness and repentance.

Helping Robert experience Jesus as his new life and vibrant reality, where before there were only lies and bondage, can be a messy process. It requires helping Robert confess and expose his core beliefs to the Lord, and then being willing to let Jesus directly reveal – actually and concretely with no attempts on my part to cloud things up with mushy abstractions or my own opinions – His transforming truth to Robert.

When Jesus speaks, lies shrivel up and die instantly. It doesn’t take months of counseling. It doesn’t take any litany of performance-based “oughts”. It is Jesus simply and directly meeting Robert in the lies that Robert was willing to confess and expose, and speaking His truth, His reality, His perspective personally and tangibly to Robert. Now Robert’s reality is Jesus in him. There is no room for the lie. It is gone, and with it goes the bondage it brought. And Jesus now in Robert – rather than doctrine and Bible verses and principles and doing all the “oughts” that he learned in church -brings true life and freedom.

Now, rather than a lie, Robert has the experience of Jesus living in that place in his life that formerly was a source of bondage. In the Bible, that process is called repentance. But we have lost the art of ministering repentance, rooted in transparent confession and concrete forgiveness, one-on-one to people.

With Robert, am I willing to let him honestly and openly express the hurt and the pain and struggles without freaking out or preaching at him? Can I love and embrace Robert, mess and all, and accept him fully and completely just as Jesus accepts him? Am I willing to walk with him to those places where he is in bondage to lies that took hold from a lifetime of ungodly experiences, and minister forgiveness? And when go together to the pain and the hurt he’s carrying, and help him expose the lies of his past to Jesus, am I willing to sit quietly as we invite the Lord to gently and lovingly speak to Robert? Because unless Robert encounters Jesus, not simply as cognitive knowledge but as living truth, then there is nothing I can say, and no verse I can quote, that will change Robert’s reality.

Many will not understand what I’m saying, because they have never taken a chance on Jesus. Rather, they put their faith in the Bible, in principles, and in figuring it all out based simply on ever-increasing knowledge about God and His precepts. Those are good things, but were never intended to be substitutes for Jesus in us.

Are you willing to walk to the place of pain and lies and bondage in your own or in another person’s life and then simply asking what the LORD – not Scripture! – has to say. Yes, of course, what Jesus wants to personally say to us to bring life in place of lies will always be consistent with Scripture. But religion, based on right understanding and right practices, can’t change anyone’s reality. Only new life, through Jesus in me, can bring real change.

Let’s stop thinking that leading Robert in some “sinner’s prayer” and then letting him “hear” from Jesus through sermons and teachings is enough. Let’s take the time to get down into the core of where Robert feels and reacts and believes, and helping him expose all that mess to the Lord so he can experience His life in place of those deeply-rooted lies. Only the life of Jesus in Robert can bring healing grace and transforming truth.

For example, most men who come to Christ from the “street” believe, at their core, that they are worthless and unable to be loved. Drugs helped them deal with that pain. I can quote a dozen Bible verses at Robert about how God loves him and values him. He can logically and rationally believe those verses – fully and truly. But it still doesn’t feel true.

Until someone is willing to go with Robert to those dark, painful places in his life where those experientially-based lies reside, and show Robert how to let the life of Christ displace those lies with His very personal and experiential validation and love, Robert will continue to feel worthless and unlovable no matter how many verses I throw at him. The Bible and sound doctrine and scriptural principles – God’s cognitive Word – were never intended to be a substitute for Jesus, the Living Word! In fact, apart from Jesus the Living Word, His cognitive Word is not going to bring much real change in Robert’s life. Scripture, without Jesus in me, is death.

Our churches have forgotten how to introduce desperate men and women to Jesus – other than having them pray some little prayer to “accept” Him into their lives and then cramming them full of the Bible. But until they encounter the Living Word, they will never find healing and wholeness. And until they find healing and wholeness through the person of Jesus, His cognitive Word will not find fertile ground or bear much fruit.

I have taught God’s precepts for years. They are good teachings, and contain much wisdom that comes from my own experiences and Scripture. But unless we share a common life – which must be Christ in us – my teachings and God’s precepts will remain simple facts that won’t result in real change, even if the hearer logically agrees with everything I’m saying.

Think about it this way: I go to some pre-technology tribe in Mongolia and offer to make them Americans. All they have to do, I tell them, is take an oath of allegiance to the United States and then I’ll teach them all the facts (i.e., doctrine and principles) they need to know to live and survive in the United States. After months of intense classes where they learn and logically understand everything I know to teach, and even master American English, I put them on a plane and they land – alone – in New York City.

Does anyone really think they will survive? No! They now need to gain experiential knowledge and change their internal value system if they hope to thrive and prosper in America.

Why do we expect someone from the our prevailing post-Christian culture, with all the experiences and internalized values of that culture, to make it in the Kingdom of God with only a simple prayer and then stuffing them with lots and lots of cognitive knowledge?

Again, simple facts won’t “fix” them. Only the Living Word, which replaces the experiences of their past by bringing new life within them, can do that. Then, and only then, can teaching cognitive “facts” have any real benefit.

As the Apostle Paul observed, we have many tutors (i.e., “fact” tellers), but not many fathers in the faith. I guess some things never change.

Redemption

When we think of redemption we usually think about Christ’s atoning blood which delivered us from our sins. Yes, on the day we personallybundle surrender ourselves to the Lord and ask His forgiveness, He redeems us and we become His children.

Christ’s sacrifice was vital. We can now partake in His kingdom here on earth and when we die join Him in eternity. However, I believe that Christ’s act of redemption is far more encompassing then simply making a way for us to enter heaven.

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Intentional Ministry

Last night was the second week in a semester-long class Marianne and I are teaching, through Nathan’s Voice and our fellowships, on pastoral counseling. We had a full house (literally!).

counseling-picture

The Art of Pastoral Counseling

We previously taught this two years ago, and many are now ministering grace and healing in our county to those trapped in the bondage of addictions, past abuse, and controlling emotional wounds.

About half of the class comes from our fellowships, and the rest from other churches in the area.

But this morning, I’m tired…

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Pastoral Counseling

Several ministries are offering a free class in Pastoral Counseling on Wednesday evenings in Prince William County, Virginia, beginning April 17, 2013, from 7:00 to 9:30 pm.

The class is open to all members of the Body of Christ from local churches (not just “pastors”!), and likely will run about twelve weeks.

To give some idea of the type of counseling we will be teaching others to do, I’ve reprinted below a blog about one session I had with a deeply troubled man last year.

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Finding Freedom From Life’s Hurts

Finding Freedom From Life’s Hurts

This is a fifty-five minute teaching I shared with about thirty men, based on hundreds of pastoral counseling sessions where God showed up and brought freedom and healing from deep hurts – including abuse, abandonment and so much more.

My blog is a feeble attempt to upload a lifetime of service to the King of Kings. I believe this audio teaching, however, captures better than anything I’ve written some of the most significant things I’ve learned as I’ve walked with folks to those ugly places of bondage and hurt in their lives. When we get there, and they exposed their hurts and lies to the Lord, He brings His loving, healing truth.

In this talk, I also share some of my own very personal story about my own places of hurt, which I had to expose to Lord so He could then bring wholeness to me.

You may think you know me from my writings, but this captures my heart in ways that a written blog never can.

 
If this resonates with you, I also recommend my related blog, God Shows Up.

Becoming Our Past

Often, longstanding hurts, disappointments and emotional wounds are like old, familiar friends. We let them become so engrained into our sense of identity that they begin to define us.

When that happens, we often aren’t willing to transparently expose and turn them them over to Jesus, but tightly hold onto them like a child clinging to a security blanket.

Instead of finding transformation and wholeness, we become our past.

If this is a struggle for you or someone you know, let me suggest an old blog I wrote years ago called God Shows Up. It’s a good starting point on the road to healing.

I Saw Satan Fall

On Tuesday evening, I understood how Jesus felt when his disciples finally “got it” and reported back, after He sent them out to minister on their own for the first time, that the sick were healed and darkness conquered. In His joy, the Lord said He saw Satan fall from Heaven because of them.

On Tuesday I’m teaching and mentoring a class of students on how to minister in the areas of confession, forgiveness and repentance. After seven weeks of foundation laying, the students this week started doing ministry sessions on their own and – wow! – it was amazing what God did through them that evening.

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Christian Counseling Class

I will be teaching a semester-long Christian counseling class beginning next Tuesday, September 6th, through early December. We will be meeting every Tuesday evening at my home just south of Manassas, Virginia, from 7:00 to 9:15 pm.

The course is being offered through Emmanuel Christian Institute, in conjunction with Fulcrum Ministries, for a very modest $200 (this fee goes to ECI for much appreciated administrative support, not me!).

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Whole Health

The more pastoral counseling I do, the more I realize how often people deal with life’s traumas, hurts and disappointments by suppressing either their mind, their heart, or their spirit – and thus some vital aspect of who God created them to be.

integrated_wholeFor example, instead of being healthy, integrated people, they numb out or otherwise retreat exclusively into the realm of their minds – i.e., their analytical logic and reason – to the exclusion of their heart and their spirit.

They are alive, but hardly living – as they deny themselves the catharsis of honest emotions and the wonder of new-found belief.

For others, their heart is the oppressor as they subjugate their mind and spirit to their feelings and sensibilities.

Some even allow their spirit to squelch their minds and hearts by super-spiritualizing everything, and treating reason and emotions as irredeemably corrupt.

I now realize that God created our mind, heart and spirit to be equally vital aspects of the whole, complete individuals He wants us to be.

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Repentance, Forgiveness and the Kingdom of God

Recorded before a group of men in the local jail, this 55 minute audio teaching explains how we find peace and freedom when we allow God, through authentic Biblical confession, repentance and forgiveness, to change what we think, believe and perceive. That, in turn, allows us to know the righteousness, peace and joy that comes from finding and doing His will — which is what the Kingdom of God is all about.

This teaching arises from hundreds of intense pastoral counseling sessions through Fulcrum Ministries. In those sessions, I’ve seen how God uses Biblically authentic confession, repentance and forgiveness to bring quick resolution and lasting freedom from the lies, hurts and deceptions we carry from life’s circumstances — including routine disappointments to extreme situations like sexual abuse, occult ritual practices, childhood abandonment and many other life-crippling situations.

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Woundedness

On Sunday I taught men in the jail, using Psalms 116:5-7 (ESV), about moving from woundedness to life. I challenged them not to settle for mere comfort when confronting hurt, but to embrace life instead.

Gracious is the LORD, and righteous;
   our God is merciful.
The LORD preserves the simple;
   when I was brought low, he saved me.
Return, O my soul, to your rest;
   for the LORD has dealt bountifully with you.

When hurt and wounded, too often all we can muster is a desire for God’s comfort or soothing presence. Although he’ll sometimes do that, what he really wants is to move us past woundedness into brokenness – that low place where we are willing to surrender to him. Only then can we hope to experience the bountiful life, both in us and around us, that comes from finding and finally doing God’s joyous will.

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God Shows Up

As “Mr. Analytical,” I’m the least probable person I know to be doing pastoral counseling, but God seems to have given me a special grace to walk with people to those places where He wants to meet them in very powerful, transforming and healing ways. I guess it’s one of those spiritual ironies that God uses to confound us. He works through the least likely to ensure that the glory is His.

Whether in the jail or in my home study, I deal weekly with issues that – believe me – exceed anything you might imagine. But the Lord meets us in amazing ways, and folks find freedom in just one or two sessions from decades of emotional and spiritual bondage.

God shows up!

Restoration

The Lord patiently, lovingly wants us to go to those places in our lives where we need his healing. Those places are at the core of our beings, where all the accumulated “yuk” lies. But it’s hard to go there, because there’s pain and hurt there.

My job is to help people get there. When we do, I simply ask Jesus what he has to say. The Lord then dramatically speaks to them in real, personal ways and brings healing and peace to some of the most unspeakable experiences and issues in their lives – including sexual abuse, child prostitution, occult oppression, abandonment, drug and alcohol addiction, sexual compulsions, anger and fear.

I’ve done this hundreds of times, and have never needed a “re-do” session where God has spoken his gentle truth. When God speaks (and He always does if there is a willingness to expose what needs to be healed!), the lies at the center of the hurt and the pain – which have caused bondage and been so controlling – immediately die. Simple and complete; wholeness and health. It’s wonderful to see.

Too often we forget that God wants to restore us to health, and have fellowship with us, because he loves us in deeply personal ways. After all, God valued Adam so much that he walked and talked with Adam in the garden during the cool of the day. God values us just as much, and desires a relationship where we can once again commune with him, and He with us.

Anyone who knows me knows how much I value the historic tenets of our faith, but we can’t major on correct doctrine to the neglect of the personal relationship God wants with us. Doctrine and Biblical truth provide a context for our day-to-day faith, but are not a substitute for intimacy with God and learning to hear his voice. We need both.

Hurt or Health?

It’s sad but true – too many churches have become a refuge for hurt people, led by hurt people, rather than a place of health that reproduces health.

It’s OK to be hurt – there’s no condemnation in that! But we have an obligation before God to seek his healing and restoration.

Perpetual Hospital Ward or Health?

I’ve had lots of challenges in my own life: emotionally crippled close family members, the death of several very close friends, a degenerative and potentially fatal autoimmune disease, an unwanted divorce, and the need to start over again financially. But despite it all, I have chosen life, not hurt.

Too often, as we go through the motions with our day-to-day routines, we forget why God redeemed us. Instead, we slip unawares into a rut of accumulated hurts and emotional pain, and start believing that’s normal.

I encourage those who are burdened with hurt to choose life and seek help.

True Repentance

Jesus, in his parting instructions to the disciples, told them to go forth and proclaim repentance and forgiveness of sins (Luke 24:44-48). That “great commission” applies to all believers, even now!

We have distorted repentance and think it simply means saying we’re sorry, or else we confuse it with confession. That’s not repentance – although authentic confession and forgiveness often are essential components of repentance.

The Greek word for repentance, as used in the New Testament, means to change the way we think so that we then change the way we act. In my experience working with and mentoring lots of men as they get out of jail, it is rare that someone can change the way he acts unless he lets God change the way he thinks. Having the will power, dedication and commitment to change how we act, without letting God change how we think, is seldom enough.

Changing the way I think means much, much more than believing correct doctrine or precepts in the cognitive, rational part of my mind. It also involves changing what the experiential and emotional side of my mind believes. You may rationally believe that “all things work together for the good of those who love God,” but when you lose your job or your daughter comes home drunk or you get a deadly disease, your emotions and reactions demonstrate your true belief. Our emotions and how we react to things spring from, and point to, our true beliefs.

Exposing the Crap in Our Lives

Life’s Septic Tank

For God to change the way we truly think, we need to be willing to open up and expose those beliefs, and their source, to Him. To help make this process understandable, I tell guys in jail that our lives contain a septic tank, and it holds lots of crap and stink. Although God forgives us, He still wants – and needs – to replace that crap and stink with health and wholeness. But to do that, He needs us to remove the septic tank’s lid so all that nasty stuff inside is exposed.

This process of removing the septic tank’s lid and exposing the crap and the stink is confession and repentance – and it often does not involve sin (although it can)! It may simply involve wrong beliefs based on lies that took hold in our lives through no fault of our own – often before we became Christians and often due to experiences during our childhood when our lie-filled belief system formed about ourselves, others, the world around us and God.

Emotions Show Beliefs

Our emotions – based on what we really believe despite cognitive facts and logic – are pathways that lead back to root lies. If we want to allow God to change the way we think so that He can then change the way we act (and react!), then we need to expose those lies to God by taking the lid off of the experiences and emotions that contain them. Once we expose those lies to God, we can invite God to speak His truth to us. In the jail, as God speaks His truth to men about themselves or about things that happened in their lives (as opposed to me giving them a cognitive to-do list of right living – which may be needed, but that’s another process for another time!), wholeness and health floods in and replaces the crap and stink!

This, then, is what we’ve been doing in the jail. God shows up and changes how men think by speaking to them His truth about them in deeply personal ways. And when he does, His truth sets them free!

His Truth Will Set You Free!

God’s Truth Displaces Lies

When God speaks His truth, lies are displaced. Horrendous memories and experiences that were a source of pain, hurt and bondage become places of righteousness, peace and joy. Our job in the counseling sessions is to simply facilitate the ministry of the Holy Spirit as the men take the lid off the septic tanks of their lives and let God pump out all of the crap and stink, then bring health and wholeness by speaking His personal, loving truth to them.

Sometimes it’s not easy for people who come to me for help to do this, because they don’t want to expose the pain and the emotions. But when they do, God speaks his truth to them in tender, loving, personal ways and the lies that previously held them in bondage disappear.

Sometimes, after these counseling sessions, I have to sit quietly to let the glory of God’s presence subside enough for me to reconnect to the so-called “real” world.

Reproducing Health

Our churches were never intended by God to be hospitals or way stations, and our Sunday gatherings are not places intended by God to perpetually sooth our hurts. My vision is that our churches and our lives become places of health that reproduce health.

That doesn’t mean we don’t have problems or have issues, but do we have the zest to confront life and let our sovereign, personal God continually transform us, even through hard times, into the people He calls us, and created us, to be?

Are we willing to repent by opening up the crap and stink in our lives so that God can speak His truth to us and bring His transforming peace and joy?

That’s what the world wants to see – not perfect people, but imperfect people who can traverse life’s issues with God’s grace evident in us.

God is not about covering over or burying our hurt and pain, like old wounds under thick callous scabs. Rather, He calls us to repentance so that He can get at the lies in our lives and heal us through His truth – which means not only doctrinal truth but also truth about our past, who we really are, how God really sees us, and who He created us and wants to empower us to be.

That process not only changes the way we think, but also can’t help but change the way we act.

~ Jim Wright

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